Just Keep Moving

Remembered my pedometer today! Well, I had it on yesterday but never actually made it out of the house because work went wonky and I fired up the computer at 7:30 instead of the scooter... Anyway, lunchtime rolled around and I decided I really needed to go for a walk, those 1700 steps were nothing, plus, it is gorgeous outside and I could use some vitamin D.

So, I took a walk.

A couple of blocks into it my knee gave out. This is my left knee and it has been through some stuff. At the tender age of 40 and a few days my knee and I found out that, despite the engineer's best intentions, knees do, in fact, bend backwards. They don't like it, they protest loudly, yet they will do it when inertia is involved. So, this knee has no ACL, the meniscus was torn in 3 places and later, mostly, removed, it creaks, it pops, it hurts, sometime it goes out. At that moment I realized I had a few options: turn around and go back to the office; stop, grab some food and go back' stop and rest; keep walking, only a little slower. ANy guesses which one I picked?? Really, any??

I kept walking, because ultimately, that's what I do, what most of us do, we just keep going. I was aware of the limitation, squared up my shoulders, held my head high, made very clear choices about the steps I was taking, did not limp or favor that knee for fear of having the other one join it in pain and just kept going.

It's what I do

And, I was rewarded for it. I got a lovely stroll through Yerba Buena Gardens, another 3K steps on the pedometer, sparkles in the sidewalk, some contemplative time and then lunch in the Sun. All of which I would have missed if I gave up and just turned back.

Dancing down the sidewalk

Left my pedometer at home today, there are moments when the wardrobe just won’t accommodate it. Thank Heavens Google maps is around! Lunchtime walk was 2.2 miles (Office, bank, Noah’s bagels, office) If I add the mile the RT walk from BART to Office I’m over 3 miles for the day. It was a gorgeous day, absolutely splendid to be outside in the sun and fresh air. Heck, it is almost beach weather at this point, let’s go!!

Walking, dancing, and shimmering down the street for lunch. We come up on a street musician playing music with a nice beat so I had to dance a little more vigorously… Then I hear him say “that’s right, shake it girl! Shake it, don’t break it!” I just had to shake it a little harder!!

I am firmly convinced that if the other people on the street would allow themselves to feel the music, the sun, and the air they would have started shaking it a little too. You know the saying “And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music” (Nietzche)? Can I change it a little? “Those who hear the music but refuse to dance are a little insane”? Of course, when I was younger I would dance in line at the grocery store, my mother always scolded me because there was no music; I said it was in my head and kept dancing. Probably explains a lot about me on some deep rooted psychological level, but there is always music… Not the stuff you hear on the radio necessarily, but the rhythms of the world.

Dance, walk, smile, laugh, move – that’s what these corporeal containers are for!!!

Just Move

I’ve been wanting to do something lately, something that will make a change, get me out of the 9 to 5 grind that I have come to loathe. I don’t mind my job at all, I detest the commute, the time away from home, the drudgery of consistency – if that makes sense. Working remotely would be great, and completely doable, really… taking the kids for an impromptu visit to my folks, toting my laptop and working from their patio while the kids play in the pool would be amazing! I know lots of people would love to do that too, yet, for me it is feasible. I just need to figure out how to make that happen…

But, outside of that I need some other things to feed my soul. When I was younger, freelancing I felt complete; there was time for friends, crafts, art, rafting, hiking, marathon training, dancing, sex, sleeping, crazy cat lady training, moving my body, philosophizing, spending time with my kid, slow mornings, late nights, etc. Sometimes I wonder if this is just melancholy middle age nostalgia for my 20s and 30s, we all do that, right? What ifs and such. Then I wonder, is it more? Then I have a bill to pay and those wild dreams just fall back to the ground…

So, do what? Last night I thought “Just Move”. I don’t mean relocate, the Bay Area is a wonderful place; I don’t mean dump the family and move on, I am devoted, dedicated to my family; I don’t mean quit my job, I’m not stupid, a reliable income in a job I don’t hate is a blessing; I mean move… These pretty feet, this ample ass, these hips, these shoulders, this head… Just move…

Last year I befriended my pedometer again and committed to walking every day, aiming for 10 thousand steps a day, I made it, a lot. Just everyday stuff, walks with my boy to the store, urban hikes, 5K races with the boys, the bridge walk, my commutes, exploring Kauai, lunchtime walks and our 1.5 mile neighborhood block walk. I’ve done it, I feel so much better for it. I don’t need research or science to tell me something I have proven to myself a hundred times before; I just need to remember to do it!

So, I’m gonna move, and I’m gonna write about and if I’m lucky and have something to contribute these posts will mean something to someone else and I’ll get offered a book deal, a movie,   an inspirational speaking tour, who knows… I’m donning my cape and tiara and going forward to change my world!!